A Fish Tank of Thought

Most days, it feels like my head is stuck wearing a water filled fish tank
And I’m gurgling water, almost choking without air
And you come along and ask me some ridiculous thing
Like, “Are you feeling better lately?”
Even though it’s only been 10 months since my mom’s been gone. 

I can’t be upset with you. 
You’re not stuck in a fish tank of thought that seals you off from others around you
Or distorts all the faces, words and actions of those in your way. 
You’re out, freely walking on daffodil paths with a dazzling sky overhead 
Even if you say your life has its hardships 
At least you’re not the one stuck with a fish tank of thought swirling around your head 

My fish tank is all consuming. 
That’s the problem with it. 
It doesn’t give me any perspective but instead blocks me off from other's hurt and pain
I see people and their life through watery eyes and think they must be living the best days of their life
I think this because they haven’t lost their mother and cannot know my heartbreak

But one day, I manage to hear outside of my little tank
I hear that a friend just lost her brother to a drug overdose
I know there’s nothing to say to fix the pain
Even though, if she’s anything like me, she’ll desperately search in vain
To find an answer to the world of grief and pain

And all I can do is to sit right down next to her
And not say anything at all
There’s nothing to say
And besides, she can’t hear anything that will bring her comfort, 
Here in her fish tank world full of grief. 

But she can see me, distorted though I may look to her in her pain
And maybe like others have done for me,
My simply sitting with her and saying nothing at all, 
May just bring her a breath of air outside of her fish tank of grief 

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