Future

While I sit alone in my house on this cold November day,
I think about all the things you'll miss now that you've gone away. 

You'll never get to hear my stories, both the silly and the happy
Stories of the dates I go on that are cringy or a little sappy. 
I'll never get to ask you how to know if someone is the one
Or listen to you tell again how you knew dad was your forever one
I'll never get to show you my future engagement ring
Or go wedding dress shopping with you early in the spring

And yet, these thoughts are nothing new. 
I thought them first back last June when I finally new
that you would not be here for me with all these new firsts
And suddenly everything in my life felt agonizingly the worst. 

You'd asked me if I'd met a man,
Someone with promise, a future plan.
But tears fell hard as I realized then,
You'd never meet my future him

Through all your pain, your hurt, your fight,
You held me close in your fading light.
A moment of love, through sorrow we shared,
Your strength a comfort, showing you cared.

And now in the present with each passing day, 
My heart breaks just a little bit more for all that has gone away. 
While I still am unmarried and seemingly no where close
I hold onto the dream you used to pray for me the most.