Seasons of Grief: An attempt at processing my grief of losing my mother through verse or poetry

I miss the me I was when you were here, When there always seemed to be a happy ending to every story and end of day. There were a lot more birds singing and sun shining back when you were here. You always looked for the good in each situation and in each person. Each time I leave work or take a long drive, I miss calling you to pass the time I miss how tightly you'd hug me and the love I felt from you every time I talked with you.  I miss the version of me that I was when you were here. I miss the naivety that I had to grief and loss and miss the carefree days of my life before you were gone. The version of me before you were gone was a lot less anxious, a lot less sad, more optimistic, nowhere near as lonely, bolder and less afraid of everything,  and a lot more spirited. Back then, everything was different - including me.  I miss the version of me that had you here. You believed in me even when I struggled to believe in myself. You supported my passions and hobbies even...

 Fear crawling up my throat Worries fogging up my mind Thoughts whirling in this storm. It beats me down and makes me shake I can't make my mind escape From the terrible thoughts within When suddenly through the dark Comes a distant sort of sound That breaks through the screaming storm Hello? It's my sister on the other line "How are you?" she wants to know "Oh, you know...." and we both do. I don't want her to worry about me,  But know that if I'm not honest, she'll still see through me So we talk about her sniffly babies The baby shower planning that I'm working on The silly boy drama that I've created in my mind. 40 minutes pass in a flash  And I hang up feeling better but also nostalgic That used to be mom and me.  I'd call her whenever my mind started to race And we'd talked for an hour about everything and nothing at all.  But today, my sister stood in the gap and listened to my silliness.  I think we both felt better at the...