A Sister

 Fear crawling up my throat

Worries fogging up my mind

Thoughts whirling in this storm.

It beats me down and makes me shake

I can't make my mind escape

From the terrible thoughts within

When suddenly through the dark

Comes a distant sort of sound

That breaks through the screaming storm

Hello?

It's my sister on the other line

"How are you?" she wants to know

"Oh, you know...." and we both do.

I don't want her to worry about me, 

But know that if I'm not honest, she'll still see through me

So we talk about her sniffly babies

The baby shower planning that I'm working on

The silly boy drama that I've created in my mind.

40 minutes pass in a flash 

And I hang up feeling better but also nostalgic

That used to be mom and me. 

I'd call her whenever my mind started to race

And we'd talked for an hour about everything and nothing at all. 

But today, my sister stood in the gap and listened to my silliness. 

I think we both felt better at the end of the call

A little less gloomy and happier after all

So even on days like today where my heart continues to break because of the absence of my mom

And even though I cried between stores as I ran errands today

Even though this never ending storm of grief continues to shred my heart to pieces, 

God spoke to me through my sister - not in what she said but in just being her.

And that was all I needed to be reassured that He is still with me 

In this storm called grief.